Anxiety

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

While walking back to our car after a fun morning at the park with some friends, Chloe started melting down. It was the typical 3 year old who was tired (nearing naptime) and hungry (definitely lunch time). She was refusing to walk with us and shouting, "NO!" So I took her by the hand and told her she either walks by herself or Mommy will help her. My friend, who has an 18 month old who was sitting calmly in his stroller, said something that struck a chord within me. "Thanks for being an example of a great parent. I have so much anxiety for when my son reaches this stage."

Anxiety.

This is a subject that keeps reappearing in my life. Often times God speaks to me through repeated phrases or occurrences that I can't deny are from Him. This is one of those character traits I can't ignore in myself.

It started this summer when our pastor's wife, Laura, did a sermon titled "Worry: How do I trust God More?" She spoke of a time in her life when she had two young daughters and the circumstances in their lives were causing her a great deal of worry. And then she continued on to tell us about some current worries she has had on her heart including the health of her friend, job placement for her daughter and financial worries. While listening to this sermon, I started to identify the places within me that were wreaking of worry. Most of my anxiety involves my children. What if Chloe falls down and gets hurt? What if she runs out into the road and gets hit by a car? My worry about Annie being affected by SIDS just about drives me to insomnia. But I also worry about my husband; especially when he travels. Endless scenarios of terrorists attacking the airplane he's in or something terrible happening to him therefore leaving the girls and I on our own frequent my mind when he's traveling for business. Laura suggested that rather than worrying and allowing anxiety to be our focus, we start praying through the situation with thankfulness.

The subject came up again while reading Beth Moore's new book, So Long, Insecurity. I could do a whole blog post about this amazing book and what it has done in me. But for now I'll focus on one aspect. Chapter 17: What Are You Afraid Of? She says, "The moment you're cognizant of an outbreak of insecurity, learn to check your heart for what you're afraid of." She goes on to say that in those moments, we need to trade our anxiety in for trust in God. "Trusting God with yourself. With your husband. With your job. With your health. With your family. With your friends. With your threat. I'm talking about entering into a transforming, two sentence dialogue with a very real, very active God who sees all things and is intimately acquainted with everything concerning you." And if that weren't enough, she goes on to share a story about dealing with her fears and how God spoke wisdom to her heart. "As long as I insist on torturing myself with these terrifying possibilities, He seems to suggest that I think them all the way through the other side." And what happens on the "other side"? If even one of these horrifying thoughts came to fruition, God would still be God. He would somehow carry me through the pain of losing a loved one. He would be by my side even if everyone left me on my own. He would still have a purpose for me and, if I cooperate with him through the healing process, could even bring good from tragedy.
"When you feel that familiar panic begin to rise in your heart like a river coursing its banks and your soul begins to roll with another round of "What will I do if....? what would happen if you were willing to hear the voice of God whisper these inaudible words?

Child, you are asking the wrong question. Here's the one that would assuage your fears: What will God do if...?"

Whoa. All along, I've been asking the wrong question. It's not What would I do if... it's What will God do?
And I'm convinced that "neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39
So now when anxiety, fears or insecurity rises it's ugly head, I identify it. I say, "That brings me ______. I'm trading that in for trust in God. God is for me. I'm clothed in strength and dignity. I'm praying with a thankful heart for the blessings God has given me."