Preschool Drop-out

I'm beginning to think that three and a half year olds are not meant to spend the entire day at home. I don't know what it is about being at home that makes my child whiny, uncooperative, and seemingly helpless. She suddenly forgets how to put on her socks, refuses to try, and then ends up whining or crying and telling me she can't do it. I'm more than willing to help her navigate all this growing up stuff, but why does she behave differently at home than she does elsewhere? I suppose part of it is that home is her safe place - the place where she can show her raw emotions, the place where she comes to get her love tank filled, the place she doesn't have to be more than who she is.

Which brings me to preschool. In September, Chloe started "real" preschool through our local community education and was enrolled three mornings a week (2.5 hours/day). The idea of her being out with other children her age, being able to socialize and perhaps learn a few things was really appealing to me. She brought home evidence of her hard work: beautiful craft projects and paintings and different worksheets where the children practice cutting and pasting. Although much of what she was doing at school we were also doing at home, I thought the program was fun and age-appropriate. So why on earth did she have catastrophic meltdowns by the time we reached the front door? Why was she suddenly having potty accidents when she was fully potty-trained and hadn't had an accident all summer long? In October the students had a short break and during the week that she was home, she stopped having accidents! Hmmmm... obviously some type of connection. Is school too stressful for her? Every time we mention school she tells about the friends she played with and she always tells me that she likes it. Is she having too much fun and forgetting to use the bathroom (as her teacher suggested to me)? But she had fun all summer long and never forgot. I was really at a loss as to what to do. Eventually we decided that once we left for England in December, that would be a perfect breaking point. So I took her out of her Tues/Thurs class and just kept the Friday morning as her school day. Once she started going only Fridays, the meltdowns got worse. Perhaps it wasn't enough of a schedule or a routine that she had a really hard time adjusting? So in February, she was officially a preschool drop-out and we became a homeschooling family.

But now that she's at home for all hours, every day, I'm beginning to think that this isn't working either. While the meltdowns and potty accidents have subsided, she's definitely 3 going on 13 and we have our moments. With long, isolating winters, it's enough to drive anyone crazy. But imagine being stuck inside with massive amounts of energy and nowhere to burn it!

Now that it's spring, things are beginning to look upward. We've gone on a few walks outside and Chloe has gotten to play outside almost every day for the past week or two! And we've started looking into some different schools for the upcoming school year. Our number one contender right now is a private school called The French Academy which would offer the structure, rigor and creativity that we're looking for - all in French! Of course, the downside is that it's a private school and would require me to find a job that's at least a half-time position to pay the tuition. Number two is Christian preschool where she could go two or three days a week for 2.5 hours/day and it's also where her BFF goes.

I guess it all comes down to the fact that we really want what's best for Chloe. And we're praying we make the right decision for her and for our family!