Breakthroughs, breakdowns, palms open, knees bent, heart bowed. Humbled beyond measure.
My sense of entitlement has surfaced. The belief in my heart of all the things I have deserved, therefore not received with thankfulness, are staring at me straight in the face. "I deserve to have perfectly behaved children." "I deserve to take a hot shower a couple times a week." "I deserve to have a moment's peace and quiet for just a few stinking minutes a day so please, just leave me alone!" Sometimes the entitlement speaks so softly, I can't even hear it. Other times I face it with tight fists and clenched jaw and react in anger.
Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving. In Jesus' final hours, what does He count as important? A thanksgiving meal with his friends.
"He took some bread and gave thanks to God for it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, 'This is my body, which is given for you. Do this to remember me.'" Luke 22:19, emphasis added
Realizing that in everything, even betrayal by one of your closest friends, even the march to death, even the blood-stained rags, in everything, we must choose to give thanks. To receive everything God has to offer. Especially when we don't understand it. Especially when the temptation to hold onto anxiety is more comforting than the obedience of counting it as blessing.
What does a life of Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, look like for me?
1. teeny tiny (absolutely edible) baby toes
2. giggles in the shower while I wash a toddler
3. sparkly blue baby eyes smiling at me
9. hot tea with the right amount of milk and sugar
14. freshly laminated paper, hot off the press
15. cheeks flushed from afternoon rest time
18. worms
23. early morning snuggles in the quiet dark
28. warm bellies on a cold, rainy day
35. hearing the word "mama" being called out for the first time
36. green grass made greener by fresh rain
39. frustration and sadness over a job offered and then retracted
40. God's grace when I don't understand
50. chocolate chip cookie dough
58. dry spell/discontentment about being a stay at home mom disappearing! Thank You, God!
61. feeling humbled that God picked me to be a mother
64. seeing the water from the lake glitter and glisten
71. blooming lilacs making the world smell so good
73. sisters happily reading books together
78. two little 3 year-olds chasing a butterfly through the grass
85. spoken words from a stranger "Keep on being a good mom."
91. the toystore!
96. Chloe making the caterpillar "feel better" by giving it a push on the swing
100. first trip to the beach
103. cottonwood trees littering the world, making it feel as if we are living in a warm snow globe
107. Chloe finally eating vegetables!!!
109. learning how to pray with eyes wide open
I'm counting the blessings, one by one, recognizing God's providence in everything. I'm capturing these tiny moments throughout the day and thanking God for such a wonderful, joy-filled life. What I used to see as mundane, what I longed to escape, I now relish and receive with open palm of gratefulness.
What does a life of Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, look like for me?
1. teeny tiny (absolutely edible) baby toes
2. giggles in the shower while I wash a toddler
3. sparkly blue baby eyes smiling at me
9. hot tea with the right amount of milk and sugar
14. freshly laminated paper, hot off the press
15. cheeks flushed from afternoon rest time
18. worms
23. early morning snuggles in the quiet dark
28. warm bellies on a cold, rainy day
35. hearing the word "mama" being called out for the first time
36. green grass made greener by fresh rain
39. frustration and sadness over a job offered and then retracted
40. God's grace when I don't understand
50. chocolate chip cookie dough
58. dry spell/discontentment about being a stay at home mom disappearing! Thank You, God!
61. feeling humbled that God picked me to be a mother
64. seeing the water from the lake glitter and glisten
71. blooming lilacs making the world smell so good
73. sisters happily reading books together
78. two little 3 year-olds chasing a butterfly through the grass
85. spoken words from a stranger "Keep on being a good mom."
91. the toystore!
96. Chloe making the caterpillar "feel better" by giving it a push on the swing
100. first trip to the beach
103. cottonwood trees littering the world, making it feel as if we are living in a warm snow globe
107. Chloe finally eating vegetables!!!
109. learning how to pray with eyes wide open
I'm counting the blessings, one by one, recognizing God's providence in everything. I'm capturing these tiny moments throughout the day and thanking God for such a wonderful, joy-filled life. What I used to see as mundane, what I longed to escape, I now relish and receive with open palm of gratefulness.
"We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks." A. Voskamp, pg. 39
The only way to have a faith that saves is to give thanks for all He has given.
"to give thanks is an action and rejoice is a verb and these are not mere pulsing emotions. While I may not always feel joy, God asks me to give thanks in all things, because He knows that the feeling of joy begins in the action of thanksgiving." pg. 176
So why am I counting these gifts, all the way to one thousand? Because it is changing me and it's changing my perspective of God's goodness toward me. I'm learning how to trust Him more deeply and to love Him more fully.
I asked my husband last night if he has noticed any change in me and he said, "You seem more content."
Yes, I am. I'm receiving all the good gifts from the greatest Giver with open hand.
I asked my husband last night if he has noticed any change in me and he said, "You seem more content."
Yes, I am. I'm receiving all the good gifts from the greatest Giver with open hand.
No comments:
Post a Comment