Why do we do what we do?

I just got a phone call to set up an interview, which will be the third interview I've had in one week (all different schools/companies). While researching daycare options for my children and realizing that even if I work full time as a substitute teacher, my take home pay will be minimum and I will lose out on the time I treasure with my small children. As a substitute you only get paid per day and for the number of days you work. Daycares, however, require you to pay per week regardless of how many days your children are physically there. So in essence, I could be paying more than I actually make.
Then I read an article published by Science Mag titled "Human Hearts Beat Together" which made me realize that a baby's mother is absolutely irreplaceable by any other care giver in the world, no matter how talented s/he is. I also recently read a different article citing that currently only 20% of families are considered "traditional" in that the mother (or one parent) stays home with the children. Meaning that the other 80% of families have dual working parents.
It's got me thinking. Why do we do what we do?
Why go back to work? Why stay home with the kids? Is it purely financial?
So, please tell me, why do you work? Do you enjoy what you do? Why do you stay home? Do you find your role(s) fulfilling? If you were to find out that your time left on earth is drastically limited, would you be happy with the choices you've made or are making?
Please comment either within the blog or on facebook.
THANKS!

A Letter to My Children

Dear Children,

I love you. I really, really love you. I sometimes even enjoy our midnight (and one o clock and two o clock) snuggles in the quiet dark. But my bed misses me. My pillow misses my head resting upon it and my warm blankets are inviting me to stay. So please can you do me a favor? Can you please both sleep better tonight (and from now on)? My bed would really appreciate it.

Thanks and much love,

Your Mommy

p.s. Which one of you do you think this is? The baby is about a month old.

Mommyhood Love

Breathtaking. I have big crocodile tears and the lump in my throat is about to burst like a dam.

How true this quote is.

"No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."

Apparently I'm getting old

I realized I am starting to get old. For real, I've got bags under my eyes and wrinkles in the creases. Check out the picture! The other morning for breakfast I had two hard boiled eggs with a cup of coffee. Isn't that what old people eat? But the thing is, that is what I wanted for breakfast.

I'm also starting to grasp the notion of how quickly time passes. Wasn't I just 19, a sophomore in college, hanging out with my friends until 2am? Now the only time I see past 10:30pm is when I've been awoken by a toddler or a preschooler who need something in the middle of the night. And I'm tired the next morning because of it.

On the cusp of turning 30, I feel as if I am embracing and enjoying life so much more. And the idea of getting older is actually quite inviting. I've heard this phrase that says something like, "The older you get, the more you realize you don't know," and it's turning out to be true. But the not knowing does not bring anxiety or fear. It's more of an anticipation of things to come. If the past 30 years have brought about this much enjoyment and adventure, imagine what's next!

I recently read a great blog post (from my favorite blog!) about the tired 30s. How this stage of life is usually one in which you have small children, a home to manage and a marriage to bloom. In other words, it's filled with busyness. There's very little time to sit down. And it's exhausting.

But isn't it exciting?! These babies grow up so quickly and there's so much I want to enjoy during this stage of my life. With trips to museums, outings to everywhere (from the Mall of America, the zoos, park dates), and the general pouring into these babes to help shape them into compassionate, kind and wonderful human beings, there's hardly time in the day to pause. Which is why I blog. So I don't forget. Because obviously the older you get, the less you can remember. Or is that just me? ;)
Here's one more photo that really shows off my smile lines! Bring it on!

Annie

Annie and I are sipping tea in this early morning {still} dark. She keeps chirping away, describing everything that she's doing or thinking. She has officially reached the age she has a daily word count quota to fulfill and she's a constant stream of words. I'm so glad I have girls :)
Her newest and apparent favorite phrase is, "No more monkeys jumping on the bed," from the book about the five little monkeys which sounds like, "No mo monkeys jump n bed." She must have repeated that phrase about 50 times today and every time Chloe and I would look at each other and smile. Then Chloe would say, "Isn't that cute, mom?"

It sure is.



In the last six weeks, she has gotten six more teeth. The shape of her face is less round and squishy and with the approach of the back molars is changing to a more narrow shape. Some days I can't get over how much she looks like her daddy.

It's true, my baby is no longer a baby. She's a toddler.



It's bittersweet watching your babies grow up. And it goes so fast.

Fight for Joy

This has been such a long week: Chloe had hives, Annie got the stomach flu again, I've been up all night every night, and a I'm single-parenting going on week 6. While making pancakes this morning, I just kept thinking: How do I fight for joy? I'm so frustrated and exhausted. Annie has been screaming for the past hour and a half and there's nothing I can do to get her back to sleep (even though that's exactly what she needs). I'm in tears. And my husband is six time zones away and our only connection is via skype. I just want to drop the kids off with Grandma and hop on the next flight to Mexico.

Then Chloe starts singing, "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart."

:I wish I had the joy down in my heart:

So I start singing along (despite Chloe's protests that I can't join in). We start making it funnier by shouting, "WHERE?" "down in my heart..."

Pretty soon my face erupts in a giant smile as my four year old has just ministered to my soul in a way no other could. My fight for joy was found in a song sung for many generations by kids in Sunday school. Through the voice of my sweet Chloe, God melted my frustrated heart and gave me renewed joy.

Where? Down in my heart!

I am blessed. I can bless.

I'm on a hunt. A hunt to see God in everything. To find him in the laughter and squeals of my precious girls. To see Him in the weathered hands of a farmer/engineer/handy-man. To rejoice in Him when my best friend's husband receives his dream job and they finally get to move to the place their heart desires. To lean on him when I'm going on week 4 of being a single parent and need enough strength and patience to last through the day.

And I'm counting these gifts; all the way to 1000 and beyond. Inspired by the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, my perspective is gradually changing. Writing down the gifts is helping me not only reflect on how God is here, with me, in all of these moments, but how He is blessing me in all of seemingly trite moments of grace and life.

"It's not the gifts that fulfill, but the holiness of the space. The God in it... This is supreme gift, time, God Himself framed in moment." Voskamp, pg. 69

Reading through my journal from the beginning of the year, the themes are easy to gather: empty, tired, overwhelmed, broken, impatient. When I look back at my journal from January through March, I realize I was barely surviving; in fact, most days just hanging on.

But the thing is, I don't just want to survive this stage of my life. Yes, motherhood is exhausting and challenging but I knew that it could be more. And I wanted more. More joy. More life. More laughter. More fun. I didn't want to miss seeing God in this journey and I didn't want to miss the joy of raising my daughters.

Enter: One Thousand Gifts.

It's not the circumstances that have changed since starting the Gift List. In fact, the circumstances have become more challenging in the past few months with job losses, family separation, VISA processing times prolonged, feeling as if we don't have the wisdom to make the right decisions, etc. My perspective is what has changed. And counting the gifts, the small moments in each day that are God-filled joy, has brought about the paradigm shift.

Here's a peek at my list:
114. Annie kissing the kitty
117. Seeing 2 loons on Lake Calhoun
118. unexpected, free guacamole from Whole Foods!
120. after several phone calls and lots of prayer, Will's passport arriving in the mail the day before our flight leaves!
121. a lunch date with a cousin I hadn't seen in two years
122. Chloe proclaiming, "God did it!" when talking about the passport arriving
126. getting through the airport hassle-free
131. drugs to make children sleepy on long-haul flights
132. an extra free seat on the airplane
137. a shower. the feeling of freshness after a long journey.
140. chasing pigeons through St James Park in London
142. the kindness shown by strangers who helped us lift up the stroller a few steps
144. sweet, sleepy Annie cuddled up in the sling
149. blissful sleep in the English countryside: windows wide open
152. a day out at the Skegness seaside
154. ice cream cones on a hot summer day
158. sitting on the grass in the warm sunshine reading a book
161. Chloe playing with the little neighbor girls
164. warm strawberries fresh from the patch
167. line-dried laundry
169. a baking lesson from Nana
170. the girls playing tea party at Great Nana's house
177. greeting friends who picked us up from the airport and gave us a ride home
179. a good night's sleep
185. the smell of wood on freshly laid planks on the boardwalk
187. coming face to face with beauty herself - a mommy doe and her Bambi
189. prayer walks
192. a great older sister who plays with my girls while I tutor her brother
193. playdate at the art museum
200. Annie saying "shoo bug" while standing near the lavender bushes, nose to nose with the bees
202. free tickets for rides at the MOA
205. after 10 years, he still surprises me
212. squeezing into a preschool class at the last minute
217. after a scary trip to the ER with Annie, so thankful that she'll be okay
220. my sister taking Chloe out for ice cream while I stay in the hospital w/ Annie
223. Harvest Moon
228. a $10 gift card to Office Max and I need a new printer
231. finishing the course for the K-12 Reading Licensure
233. Chloe referring to her friend, Lily, as her sister
235. Annie meowing at the cat every time she sees her
238. gaining confidence and realizing how strong and capable I am as a mother
240. talks at night in the kitchen with my sweet friend (how I'm going to miss her!)

When I see my life through the lens of blessedness, I cannot feel discouraged. It's impossible. I just feel really, really lucky and grateful and thankful.

Because I'm so blessed, I too can bless.

So this is the new challenge in my journey to joy: to find one person every.single.day who needs a little bit of my time, or a little bit of my money, or a little bit of my encouragement and to find God in the faces of each of these people.

The grandmother I met today, I pray that she (and the four mouths she feeds) feels blessed and loved by God.

I pray that the cycle of blessing never stops.

Just Enough

Fall, for me, is a fresh beginning. A time to reflect on the past year and a time to evaluate the upcoming season of life that is drawing upon us. A new year, if you like.

Recently in my time with God, friends, reading books, conversations, and in prayer I keep being drawn to the idea of just enough. What does it mean to live with just enough? To have just enough (time, resources, stuff, capacity to love, ability to make a difference)? To eat just enough? To make just enough money?

Then, yesterday, I came across this verse in Proverbs 30:8 which was, coincidentally, the same verse that a friend was just talking about a day before:

"give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread"

and it goes on to say in verse 9 "Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

In a country filled with affluence contrasted with deep poverty it's easy to visualize both scenarios: having too much and forgetting the giver of all good gifts (therefore acting with no regard to the well-being of others) and having too little and living in bondage to poverty and hunger. With a prayer asking God to give me only my daily bread, that means just enough for the day so that I will continue to remember and thank Him for his provisions; no more, no less.

While reading the book Reshaping It All by Candace Cameron Bure (remember DJ from Full House? yeah, her), she led us to a verse also found in Proverbs but in chapter 25 verse 16:

"if you find honey, eat just enough."

Eating just enough to fuel my body and satisfy my hunger and not so much that I feel like over-full. One of my goals in this 'new year' is to eat until I'm satisfied rather than until I'm already full (because by then, it's too much!).

Cleaning through the contents of my entire house was a great lesson in learning what I truly need to live. Does a person really need that many shirts? How many sets of dishes is enough for a family? [just one set, thank you]. How many pairs of shoes do I really need? [this was the hard one...]. How much stuff do I need to live comfortably? The answer was surprisingly less than what I had originally thought.

How much space does a family really need? I know of families of six that live in a house the size of my current bedroom. All together. Tight squeeze. As we're on our way to England, we will be downsizing from a 2400 sq.ft. house to a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom flat (apartment) which will be enough for our family of four.

The monetary monthly income we currently have is half of what it was a year and a half ago. We learned during that time of plenty to live on just what we need and to give the rest. So now, we are living the same lifestyle but (unfortunately) don't have as much to give away to great organizations/people/ministries. Thankfully we are nearly debt-free (except for our house) and we have learned to discipline ourselves and our spending habits.

As Westerners, it's difficult to not get wrapped up in the idea of living the "normal" lifestyle. Our house, by Western standards, is "perfect" for our family. In addition to the master bedroom with a bathroom and walk-in closet, each child has her own bedroom, we have a sizable kitchen and a cozy living room in our upper level and we have a family room/school room along with an office and an extra bedroom and bathroom for guests in the lower level of our house. Right now we have a family of four living with us - now I finally feel like our space isn't wasted.

I'm enjoying this journey of learning how to live with just enough. To be contented and crazy-happy and free in the knowledge that what I have is my daily bread and I need not worry about what tomorrow will bring (although I'm kind of hoping it will bring my VISA. just sayin'). My prayer is the same as the wise man who wrote the Proverb: give me neither too much nor too little; only just enough for this day so that I will continually praise You.

Surprises

After 10 years, my husband still has the ability to surprise me.

My VISA didn't come. After waiting and peeking out the window every time I heard the sound of an engine that could be the UPS truck, it never arrived. I had to call the airline and change my flight to this coming Friday. I'm still hoping and praying that it will come as Friday is the airline's last flight to London for the season.

My husband did come. Thursday night, after my house was spotlessly clean, thanks to my mom and my two aunts, exhausted, I sat down to check my email (again, just in case the consulate sent me an email saying my VISA/passport was on its way). To my surprise there was an email from my husband with a flight itinerary attached and a question asking, "Can you pick me up around 6pm? Want Papa Murphy's for supper?"

WHAT?!!

Since it was a three-day weekend in the UK, he decided to find a cheap, last minute flight and come home for the weekend. What a guy! So the girls and I picked him up from the airport Friday night and drove to Papa Murphy's to get our take-n-bake pizza for supper that evening. We were all so excited to see him and we had a fun weekend together. The picture is of Will and Annie standing next to the giraffes at the zoo on Saturday.
Sadly, we dropped him off at the airport this evening and it absolutely broke my heart when Annie kept crying, "Dada! Dada!" as we drove off :(
If it's meant to be, my passport/visa will arrive this week. If it doesn't, then I guess we'll come up with a new plan for the fall. We're praying for God to lead the way and for us to be attentive to His leading!

Sometimes

This blog post is inspired by Kristen over at We are That Family!

Sometimes I let Chloe watch a movie for her rest time just so she won't nap during the day and go to bed at 7:30 instead.

Sometimes I make cookies just so I can eat the dough.

Sometimes I pretend not to hear Annie in the middle of the night in the hopes that she'll just fall back asleep.

Sometimes I watch an episode of Glee while doing the dishes or folding laundry (in fact, that was me last night).

Sometimes I wait until the kids are in bed (or out of sight) and sneak in a piece of chocolate just so I don't have to share.

Sometimes, after playdates, I thank God for my kids and am glad I don't have to deal with "those other" children.

Sometimes I eat cereal for supper, especially if the husband is not around.

Sometimes I roam around Target by myself just because it's nice going at my own pace and getting to the checkout counter with nothing opened!

Sometimes I don't answer the door if there's a salesperson waiting to chat. Lesson learned: I'm a sucker.

Sometimes I feel like a great mom who has it all together and sometimes I feel like a complete failure!

Anyone else have anything to confess?

Freakin' Out

Can I just be completely honest? Well, yes, I can because this is my blog.

I am freaking out.

Why you ask? Because of this:



and



This is what our closets look like as of yesterday.

And now we have to find somewhere to deposit this:

My husband's flight leaves for England tomorrow at 4pm and he starts his new job in London on Monday. The girls and I will still be here, at our house in MN, awaiting my spouse visa approval and praying in faith that we will get to arrive in the UK on August 27th, a week later than Will. Once Will gets to London, he has appointments and viewings set up so that we can find a place to rent/live.

The only things we have left in our closets is what I'll be transferring into suitcases when the time comes.

The idea of all of the unknown (not knowing when my visa will arrive, having no place to live, not having any friends close by, still needing to register the girls as British, getting Chloe set up for preschool, etc.) and grieving the comfort of the known (house, friends, knowing the family/kid-friendly places in our area) is causing me to freak out a bit. Well, kind of a lot.

Thankfully when it feels as if my world and my head are spinning, I can hold on to the truth found in Philippians 4 verses 4 - 7:

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Just because something is difficult doesn't mean it will not worth the effort. I'm going to keep praying and giving my fears to the Lord and He will bless me by listening and understanding. Moving my family across an ocean and six time zones is not easy [the packing itself is very tiring]. But just because something is not easy doesn't mean it shouldn't be done. So, here we go! England, here we come!

Nana's Almond Tarts

During our trip to England, one of the highlights for me included my baking lesson with Will's Nana. She makes these delicious and highly addictive almond tarts that I just had to know how to re-create! Since then, Chloe and I have made them in our kitchen and for your pleasure, I will share the recipe.

Step One: Recruit a cute helper to help you measure, dump and stir














Step Two: Make a simple shortbread crust
* 6 ounces of flour
* 3 ounces of vegetable lard or margerine
* water
Mix the flour and marg. together until it looks crumbly. Add water by the tablespoon until it gets to the consistency of dough (or in my amateur case: like play dough)

Step Three: Roll and cut out the dough
* Lightly flour a hard work surface and roll the dough out flat until it is thin (between 1/8" and 1/4")
















* Use a cookie cutter or the top of a glass to make circular shapes
* Gently place the cut-out circles into a muffin tin

Step Four: Make the almond filling
* in a small mixing bowl, stir/whisk/beat with a mixer one egg white until it's stiff with 2 ounces of sugar, 2 ounces of ground almonds and 1 tsp of almond essence.
















Step Five: Fill the tarts
* put about a 1/2tsp of jam (any flavor you want) on top of the tart inside the muffin tin
* put a heaping tsp of the almond mix on the top





















Step Six: Put a thin cross of pastry across the top
















Step Seven: Bake at 350 degrees (or as Nana says, "a moderately hot oven") until set and lightly brown (about 12 minutes)
















Step Eight: Take out and enjoy!!






















Four generation of Yates' can't be wrong: these almond tarts are tasty!!

Fun Story

We had been planning a trip to England for a couple of months in honor of my mother-in-law's 60th birthday this June. Fortunately, she had no idea what we planning, because it almost didn't happen. So, here's a fun story for you.

As a backstory, Will needed to renew his British passport as his current one expired in May. So mid-April, he filled out all the documentation, paid the renewal fee and sent it off. At that point the processing time for a renewal passport was about 3-4 weeks. Shortly after he sent off his renewal, we purchased airline tickets for June 24, arriving at Gatwick the morning of the 25th with the intention of surprising his mother for her birthday. We told nobody for fear that someone might accidentally write something on my facebook wall in the likes of, "Travel safely!" or, "Have a great trip - hope she's surprised!" which of course my mother-in-law would see and the surprise would be spoiled.
Two weeks before our departure date, Will's passport had still not arrived. Feeling a bit anxious, he called the passport renewal helpline to see what was happening. For some unknown reason, the consulate was inundated with passport applications; they were receiving about 300 applications per day!! With such a high volume, they couldn't keep up with the mounting paperwork and processing times had drastically increased. The man he spoke with that day said that if it hadn't arrived in a week, to call back again.
The Monday prior to our departure date, it still hadn't arrived. The person he spoke with this time told him it was in one of the first stages of processing and the chances of it being ready and in our hands for Friday morning were nil. Feeling extremely discouraged and disappointed, we realized that we simply couldn't go and our grand plans of celebrating with my mother-in-law wouldn't happen. In fact I think I said something along the lines of, "Not even a miracle of God could make this happen. It's not even in the realm of possibility."
Thursday, June 23rd at 9:15am Will called the consulate/British passport helpline for one final attempt to see if there was any way his passport would arrive by tomorrow before calling the airline to cancel our flights. Before you can speak to a human, they take your credit card details and charge you what is equivalent to $1.50/minute. The woman who was taking his details said, "Well, this is strange. For some reason my system shut down and isn't working right now. Try calling back in a little bit," or something on those lines. So he tried to call again and couldn't get through. He waited a few minutes and tried again but this time I beeped through on the other phone line.
Meanwhile at about 9:20am there was a knock on our door. I opened the door and see a UPS man standing in his brown uniform. He asked me to sign his little machine w/ the fake pencil. I stared in disbelief. Could this be what I think it is? Impossible. I shut the door and tore open the package. It contained two burgundy passports - an old one and a new one - date of process June 22, yesterday. We needed more than a miracle, and it happened!!! So, the day before our flight was scheduled to leave, the much-needed and prayed for passport arrived. Chloe and I squealed with delight and danced around the living room, rejoicing! GOD did it!!! Outside the realm of human possibility is not outside the realm of God's possibilities.


Oh, and it gets better. A friend of mine had a bunch of family coming into town for the 4th of July holiday and they couldn't afford to rent a hotel room for a week. Guess whose house will be vacant for that whole week? OURS! Prayer answered for us and them! We had folks staying at our house while we were out and when we came back, it was way cleaner than we had left it! Blessings abundant! Isn't God cool?

one thousand gifts

The past two months have been a new kind of beauty journey. I've been on a beauty hunt. Through reading a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I have been challenged to name one thousand blessings; to count the tangible grace of God toward me. What has this hunt for grace and beauty done in me? It has me completely undone.

Breakthroughs, breakdowns, palms open, knees bent, heart bowed. Humbled beyond measure.

My sense of entitlement has surfaced. The belief in my heart of all the things I have deserved, therefore not received with thankfulness, are staring at me straight in the face. "I deserve to have perfectly behaved children." "I deserve to take a hot shower a couple times a week." "I deserve to have a moment's peace and quiet for just a few stinking minutes a day so please, just leave me alone!" Sometimes the entitlement speaks so softly, I can't even hear it. Other times I face it with tight fists and clenched jaw and react in anger.

Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving. In Jesus' final hours, what does He count as important? A thanksgiving meal with his friends.

"He took some bread and gave thanks to God for it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, 'This is my body, which is given for you. Do this to remember me.'" Luke 22:19, emphasis added

Realizing that in everything, even betrayal by one of your closest friends, even the march to death, even the blood-stained rags, in everything, we must choose to give thanks. To receive everything God has to offer. Especially when we don't understand it. Especially when the temptation to hold onto anxiety is more comforting than the obedience of counting it as blessing.
What does a life of Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, look like for me?

1. teeny tiny (absolutely edible) baby toes
2. giggles in the shower while I wash a toddler
3. sparkly blue baby eyes smiling at me
9. hot tea with the right amount of milk and sugar
14. freshly laminated paper, hot off the press
15. cheeks flushed from afternoon rest time
18. worms
23. early morning snuggles in the quiet dark
28. warm bellies on a cold, rainy day
35. hearing the word "mama" being called out for the first time
36. green grass made greener by fresh rain
39. frustration and sadness over a job offered and then retracted
40. God's grace when I don't understand
50. chocolate chip cookie dough
58. dry spell/discontentment about being a stay at home mom disappearing! Thank You, God!
61. feeling humbled that God picked me to be a mother
64. seeing the water from the lake glitter and glisten
71. blooming lilacs making the world smell so good
73. sisters happily reading books together
78. two little 3 year-olds chasing a butterfly through the grass
85. spoken words from a stranger "Keep on being a good mom."
91. the toystore!
96. Chloe making the caterpillar "feel better" by giving it a push on the swing
100. first trip to the beach
103. cottonwood trees littering the world, making it feel as if we are living in a warm snow globe
107. Chloe finally eating vegetables!!!
109. learning how to pray with eyes wide open

I'm counting the blessings, one by one, recognizing God's providence in everything. I'm capturing these tiny moments throughout the day and thanking God for such a wonderful, joy-filled life. What I used to see as mundane, what I longed to escape, I now relish and receive with open palm of gratefulness.

"We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks." A. Voskamp, pg. 39

The only way to have a faith that saves is to give thanks for all He has given.

"to give thanks is an action and rejoice is a verb and these are not mere pulsing emotions. While I may not always feel joy, God asks me to give thanks in all things, because He knows that the feeling of joy begins in the action of thanksgiving." pg. 176

So why am I counting these gifts, all the way to one thousand? Because it is changing me and it's changing my perspective of God's goodness toward me. I'm learning how to trust Him more deeply and to love Him more fully.

I asked my husband last night if he has noticed any change in me and he said, "You seem more content."

Yes, I am. I'm receiving all the good gifts from the greatest Giver with open hand.

Thank you, Summer

We never thought it would arrive. Spring forgot to come. We went from freezing, cold, snowflake-y winter, to hot, humid, sticky summer.
But, summer IS here! In full force.
And we are so thankful!!
Here are a few things we've been up to the past two weeks:

Chloe had her last day of gymnastics. Here she is receiving her certificate standing next to her coach.

I took Chloe on a date to see Pinkalicious, the musical! Wow, it was so much fun. (For those of you who don't know, Pinkalicious is a book written by Elizabeth Kann and Victoria Kann and it's about a little girl who is obsessed with the color pink. She eats so many pink cupcakes, she actually turns pink!).

We have been going on a lot of walks to play at the various parks in our neighborhood. Chloe has been biking everywhere and she's really getting fast!! Here's a picture of Daddy and Annie on one of our walks.

I took the girls to the zoo! Annie loved the bears and the giraffes and Chloe liked climbing on things :)

Our last stop before leaving was to take a ride on the golden horses!

Chloe has been busy climbing the tree in our front yard

And today, we spent the morning at the beach! With a heat index of 100, we decided to head out early and spend the morning at the playground next to the lake. Annie LOVES to swing.

She wasn't too sure about the sand, but she eventually got up the courage to have a play in it.

Chloe would've spent the entire day (or week) in the water!

Annie found her favorite spot at the beach: in the chair!

Thank you, Summer. You have been missed.

Little Fairy

While out running errands today, we arrived at our destination (Target) and I went over to Chloe's side of the car to open her door and unbuckle her. Then I walked over to Annie to get her out. I had our gear and was ready to go in, but Chloe still hadn't gotten out of the car. I poked my head in and said, "Chloe are you coming out?"
She looked at me and said, "I have to put my fairy wings on! Chill out!"

I must have laughed for a good 3 minutes because her response was so serious!

Well, okay then, I guess the princess has spoken.

Discipline Style via API

With our oldest daughter on the cusp of turning four, we have experienced our share of unwelcome behavior, tantrums, defiance, and screaming in the past year and a half. When you feel like you've run dry of ideas, where's a parent to turn for resources and help? I'm a big fan of Attachment Parenting International. I recently read a blog post discussing what our discipline style is as parents. As a side note, the word discipline comes from the same word as 'disciple' and means "to teach, to follow, to train" which reminds me of a verse in Proverbs.

Prov. 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way (s)he should go, Even when (s)he is old (s)he will not depart from it."

By means of assessing our own disciplining technique, the author suggests a list of questions to think through.

• How were you disciplined as a child?

I was born before the invention of "time-outs." My parents disciplined by means of punishment for bad behavior: sometimes a physical punishment (spanking, a slap, etc.- not to say my parents over-used this as punishment as it only happened a few times during my childhood) or when I was a bit older it was taking away a privilege (time with friends, decreased phone time, no social events).

• How did you feel/react when being disciplined?

As a small toddler/child the physical punishment was only understood by me as "Mommy/Daddy doesn't love me." I didn't connect the punishment with the "crime." As a tween and teen, losing privileges was probably more effective at curbing unwanted behavior (but not eliminating it as I still broke curfew more times than I can count).

• What would you like to do the same or differently?

Frankly speaking, I think spanking is stupid and ineffective. Multiple studies, including this one from The Attached Parent, prove that "spanking teaches children that violence is the solution to problems. Hitting teaches that we can and should use physical coersion to get what we want. Not only does spanking teach things that are surely contrary to what we actually want it can errode the trust between parent and child too."

• What are your goals for disciplining your children?

My goals, and my mantra, are be the person you want your children to become. Disciplining does not mean punishing. Disciplining means guiding your children to make appropriate, healthy choices and to become the fullest, best, joy-filled, caring person as possible.

• What discipline issues are coming up in your household these days?

My husband and I are not in full agreement as to the means of disciplining. While we both want the best for our children, we don't always agree on which tactics will be more effective. Do we go with a more gentle approach (without becoming a permissive parent)? Or do try a punishment (such as time out) in hopes that the negative behavior will stop (without becoming a domineering parent)?

• What is causing discipline conflicts? -Child (temperament, developmental level, tired, hungry, etc.) -You (need to feel in control, unnecessary/unreasonable demands, delivery, approach, etc.)

Child. It seems like she is tired all.the.time. Recently we have wondered if she has sleep apnea or enlarged tonsils/adenoids which are interfering with her night sleep. Her behavior/tantrums seem to correspond with her being tired but the gal gets "enough" sleep at night. Perhaps it isn't good enough sleep and that is the issue.
Me. Yes. I have a need to feel in control. I have a need to have perfectly behaved children. And I'm in the process of learning to answer with grace, compassion and understanding rather than letting my emotions get caught up in the tornado of Chloe's emotions (= bad spiraling mess).

• What are your triggers? How do you express your feelings and cope with frustrations?

My triggers? The things that really get under my skin and make me go into fight/flight mode are screaming and defiance. When Chloe starts screaming, "NOOOOO!" at me, it makes me cringe and want to lash out in anger. Most of the time I clench my jaw and resist my natural inklings and respond in the gentlest voice I can find at the time.

• What are you doing well as a disciplinarian?

Depends on the day. A year ago I would've answered, "Terrible." But, now, one year wiser, I can say that we're on a learning journey. Since I started putting into practice some of the techniques I've read from Attached at the Heart and from subscribing to a parenting newsletter written by Dr. Laura Markham, a lot of the negative behavior has been prevented by deeply investing in my childrens' emotional needs and by responding to those needs with compassion.

• What do you wish you were doing differently?

If I could pick the one thing I want to change the most, it would be to stop "losing it." I can easily get caught up in the emotional turmoil and it's at these moments that I stop guiding the emotions and start losing the path I want to lead us on.

I believe we need to look to God and His Word for direction on how to be great parents. These children, afterall, are a gift from Him and we want to honor God with our choices as parents and disciples. It's necessary to pray for and with our children in addition to asking God to give us wisdom in dealing with the challenges of parenthood. I'm so thankful for parenting resources that align with the teachings of the Bible and I will continue to look to these resources on this parenting journey. Parenthood is not only a high calling, it's also a lot of work!

Cake Pops

Let's talk about those cake pops I made for Annie's birthday party! Yes, they took a while to make, but it was totally worth the effort because they were SO cute!! I received many compliments on the cake pops; the flavor and the aesthetics.

I didn't actually take pictures of the process of making them because it was so messy, but I can tell you how I did it. I got the recipe from a blog called Bakerella (what a great name for a blog, I might add). If you look around her site, you'll see that she's a baking genius and does wildly creative things with cake pops. I, however, just rolled my cake into balls and put them on lollipop sticks that I purchased from Michael's Craft store.

1. bake cake as directed. I bought a strawberry cake mix and followed the mixing and baking directions for a 13 x 9 pan.
2. after the cake cools, crumble in a large bowl. I used my trusty large spatula (from Pampered Chef) - it does every job in my kitchen.
3. mix in a can of frosting. I used pink vanilla frosting - the kind that comes with the sprinkles. In hind sight, I probably shouldn't have used the whole can as the cake pops were really sweet tasting. Next time I'll use a bit less and see how that turns out.
4. roll into balls and place on a baking sheet covered with wax paper.
5. freeze. I froze my cake balls for a couple of hours (RE: did steps 1-4 during nap time and finished my job after the kids went to bed that evening).
6. melt the candy melts (or you can use chocolate chips or almond bark).
7. put the lollipop stick in the cold cake ball and dip in the melted candy.
8. stick the cake pop into a styrofoam block and sprinkle.
9. refridgerate until ready to serve!

This is what the centerpiece looked like:

Let's ask Annie what she thought of the cake pops:

Good to the last lick:

What did Annie's favorite Auntie think to the cake pops?


General Consensus: Cake Pops Rock!!!

Annie's 1 Year Old!!!

As I write this, little Annie is refusing to take her second nap. Again. This goes to show what an independent toddler she is becoming. Oh, little lady, what are in for? And now she just hid her face in a sweatshirt that is hanging on the back of the chair (which of course she is using as a standing aide) and peeked out and said, "Boo!"

The first birthday party was a success!

Hooray!!! We love parties!

What a gorgeous little princess!

Here's a pic of my spread! I had a lot of fun decorating and making cake pops!

She's doing new things every day. Saying new words, practicing new skills, and growing bigger. I took her to her well-child check-up at the doctor yesterday and she weighs 20 pounds (31st percentile) and is 28 inches tall (12%). She has about about 20 words that she can say (I should really write them down) and her cognitive skills are equivalent to an 18 month-old. What she lacks in size, she makes up for in intelligence!

Here are a few more things that Annie has been up to this month:

• She likes to go up to Chloe, tackle her to the ground and bite her (on the shoulder, arm, lip, etc.)
• She enjoys playing tea party
• She points at herself if we ask, "Where's Annie?" or if we say, "Me!"
• Has a slight obsession with buttons. Buttons on shirts, on the phone, on the computer. Her new "job" is to press the ENTER button after I type in the code to open the garage. She seriously gets a kick out of this. And she loves to point at buttons and says, "bunn! bunn!"
• She LOVES to bounce! She'll crawl into my lap, stand up, hold on and say, "Boun!" (which means bounce) and start bouncing up and down.
• Her current favorite foods are goldfish crackers (which she doesn't get too often) and strawberries. I recently bought 3 pounds of strawberries which we are quickly making our way through.
• She has started drinking whole milk! She loves cups, and straws even more so I give her a sippy cup at meal times and she does great. She still nurses about 4 times a day but is enjoying practicing with her cup.
• She does this funny little bear walk/crawl especially when we're outside. She must not like the feel of the ground on her knees so she walks on her hands and feet. It's pretty funny.
• Speaking of bears, her favorite book is Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See? She loves to pick up the book and say, "Brown Bear" and then pages through the book. She "baaas" at the sheep, and gets very excited and repeatedly shouts, "Duck! Duck!" at the yellow duck.
• She's great at sharing! (pretty sure it's because her sister takes everything away from her)
• The cutest thing ever: she washes her own hair in the tub! I tell her, "Annie, it's time to wash your hair," and she'll start rubbing her head/hair with her hands.
• Her favorite game is what we've called "Push/Pull." She'll climb on me (or daddy) or pull herself to a stand and then make the "pshhh" sound as she pushes us over. Then she grabs onto our shirts and pulls us up again. She laughs and does it over and over again.

Annie is an absolute delight. She's full of smiles (and has six teeth she'll show off to anyone), loves to play, dance, and gets excited when she sees the park. She loves her mama (and will cry if I try to drop her off at the Y Kid's Stuff), gets really excited when Daddy comes home every evening, and loves to snuggle with her big sister. We're so blessed to have Annie as our daughter and we're so excited to watch her grow and develop. This has been one amazing year. To think she has gone from this:


to this:


to this:



it's a humble miracle. Thank you, God, for such a gift.