I just sent my husband a text message that read, "remind me again why i'm a stay at home mom..."
Since my eldest woke up this morning, she has done nothing but fight with me at every opportunity she can find. Getting her dressed this morning was an all-out battle complete with tears and wailing. And it was only 9am. If I said "circle", she said "square". If I said "Let's play trains", she said "I don't want to." No matter what I suggested we do, she found a reason to say NO! So at some point I stopped giving choices and said, "After Annie's nap we are putting on our shoes and heading to the Y! Mommy needs to workout!" [the subtext saying that mommy really needs to drop you off with someone else for a while before I go nutty]
After we got home from the Y and had lunch, it was nap and rest time. Well of course Chloe found every stinkin' excuse in the book to stall. She left her Cinderella doll in the car and absolutely couldn't rest without it. So she dashed out of bed, put on her shoes and went out to the car to retrieve the beloved princess. While out in the garage, she decided to open the garage door and have a little ride on her bike. Seriously?! Despite the fact that we've had about a foot of snow in the last few days, riding bikes when it's supposed to be rest time is NOT a great idea...
By the time I put her in her room with a harsh reminder that she is not to come out until her CD is over, I was beyond frustrated. Hence the text message to the husband.
Fast forward to post nap (which yes, she did finally succumb to). It was time for her to wake up so I went into her room and started whispering her name. She rolled over, all warm and sleepy eyed with hair matted to the side of her cheek. She looked at me and smiled and then in the sweetest, perkiest little voice said, "I had a nice long nap and now I'm not grumpy anymore!"
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Parenting 101
From the moment I first learned I was pregnant with my daughter, well over four years ago now, I had visions of what parenthood would be like. There would be long walks in the sunshine, splashing our feet in the water of the nearby lakes and creeks, picnics, playdates with friends, teaching my cherubs about life, love and God, and lots of cuddle time while reading books. While this has all come to continuing fruition, what I failed to imagine is the rest of life.
I failed to realize that some (okay, my) babies don't sleep. This has been a huge source of frustration and contention and has caused more than a few words of anger to be uttered in our house. Neither my husband nor I are fighters. We are both peacekeepers by nature (except that one time my husband got threatened to be put on a "No Fly" list because of his demeanor towards the Delta desk assistant at the airport.... but that's a story for another day). However, in the throes of severe sleep deprivation and a baby screaming in your ear every hour and a half throughout the night, even the most gentle of creatures reaches a breaking point.
Nobody told me about the toddler tantrums that give you flashbacks from the movie "The Exorcist." A few weeks back (actually the very last time I picked Chloe up from real preschool) my firstborn had a meltdown that literally frightened me (and Annie). She was screaming, crying, thrashing about on the floor, and I thought her eyes might pop out of her scull from all the sounds that were coming out of the whole of her 32 pounds. I used all of the tricks that usually work to coax her back into stability to no avail. We had to wade out this storm - and it was tumultuous. It was because of this (and a few other reasons) that we decided to pull her out of playschool altogether and begin an interesting journey as a homeschooling family. (more on that later)
I wish I had known that with children everything takes longer and other things are impossible. To get in 35 minutes of exercise at the Y, the entire trip there and back takes at least an hour and a half. Usually 2. The getting into winter gear (keep in mind it takes near bribing to get Chloe to even put her socks on), strapping into carseats, the walk into the building, checking into the drop-off kidcare, then my workout (35-40 minutes of glorious "me" time!), back to pick them up, back into the winter gear, back to the car and then back home. I'm sweating before I even start the real workout.
Time with the husband is greatly diminished when a child or two comes into the family. Children are a great blessing and such a wonderful picture of "when two become one" but unfortunately, that means that the initial two people who started this whole thing have a lot less time together. Shortly after we welcomed our first child into our family, I had to grieve the loss of my relationship with my husband. Not that we didn't have a relationship anymore, because we did, but it was very different. He was now husband and daddy; I was now wife and mommy. When we were able to have some peaceful moments together, just the two of us, we had to learn how to see each other again in our new roles. I'll never forget our first date after Chloe was born. She was two months old and my mom came to babysit (because when you're a new parent, the only person you trust to babysit your precious newborn is one of your own family). We had tickets to see the broadway performance of The Lion King at the theatre. I was so anxious about leaving my new little baby. Questions such as, Would she be okay? What will happen if she cries and can't be comforted? Will my mother cope with this child? were swimming through my mind. My stomach was in knots. It was the first time in months that I put on makeup and got all dressed up and I was nervous. When we got to the theatre and found our seats we looked at each other, I mean really looked at each other, for the first time in 2 months. And it was like first date awkward. We had just been co-existing and trying to navigate this new chapter in our lives. We had been on survival mode. And now, on our date, was the first time we got to remember the people we used to be when we got a full night of sleep. From there, we started learning how to adjust to the newness of being both parents and lovers.
While I would never change the last four years for anything in the world and while my heart bursts with the love I have for my children, parenting is so much harder and different and tiring than I thought it'd be. I'm still learning and have a lot more visions of what I want my children to become. But, who knows? Maybe the next post about parenthood can be titled Parenting 102.
I failed to realize that some (okay, my) babies don't sleep. This has been a huge source of frustration and contention and has caused more than a few words of anger to be uttered in our house. Neither my husband nor I are fighters. We are both peacekeepers by nature (except that one time my husband got threatened to be put on a "No Fly" list because of his demeanor towards the Delta desk assistant at the airport.... but that's a story for another day). However, in the throes of severe sleep deprivation and a baby screaming in your ear every hour and a half throughout the night, even the most gentle of creatures reaches a breaking point.
Nobody told me about the toddler tantrums that give you flashbacks from the movie "The Exorcist." A few weeks back (actually the very last time I picked Chloe up from real preschool) my firstborn had a meltdown that literally frightened me (and Annie). She was screaming, crying, thrashing about on the floor, and I thought her eyes might pop out of her scull from all the sounds that were coming out of the whole of her 32 pounds. I used all of the tricks that usually work to coax her back into stability to no avail. We had to wade out this storm - and it was tumultuous. It was because of this (and a few other reasons) that we decided to pull her out of playschool altogether and begin an interesting journey as a homeschooling family. (more on that later)
I wish I had known that with children everything takes longer and other things are impossible. To get in 35 minutes of exercise at the Y, the entire trip there and back takes at least an hour and a half. Usually 2. The getting into winter gear (keep in mind it takes near bribing to get Chloe to even put her socks on), strapping into carseats, the walk into the building, checking into the drop-off kidcare, then my workout (35-40 minutes of glorious "me" time!), back to pick them up, back into the winter gear, back to the car and then back home. I'm sweating before I even start the real workout.
Time with the husband is greatly diminished when a child or two comes into the family. Children are a great blessing and such a wonderful picture of "when two become one" but unfortunately, that means that the initial two people who started this whole thing have a lot less time together. Shortly after we welcomed our first child into our family, I had to grieve the loss of my relationship with my husband. Not that we didn't have a relationship anymore, because we did, but it was very different. He was now husband and daddy; I was now wife and mommy. When we were able to have some peaceful moments together, just the two of us, we had to learn how to see each other again in our new roles. I'll never forget our first date after Chloe was born. She was two months old and my mom came to babysit (because when you're a new parent, the only person you trust to babysit your precious newborn is one of your own family). We had tickets to see the broadway performance of The Lion King at the theatre. I was so anxious about leaving my new little baby. Questions such as, Would she be okay? What will happen if she cries and can't be comforted? Will my mother cope with this child? were swimming through my mind. My stomach was in knots. It was the first time in months that I put on makeup and got all dressed up and I was nervous. When we got to the theatre and found our seats we looked at each other, I mean really looked at each other, for the first time in 2 months. And it was like first date awkward. We had just been co-existing and trying to navigate this new chapter in our lives. We had been on survival mode. And now, on our date, was the first time we got to remember the people we used to be when we got a full night of sleep. From there, we started learning how to adjust to the newness of being both parents and lovers.
While I would never change the last four years for anything in the world and while my heart bursts with the love I have for my children, parenting is so much harder and different and tiring than I thought it'd be. I'm still learning and have a lot more visions of what I want my children to become. But, who knows? Maybe the next post about parenthood can be titled Parenting 102.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Baby Genius
My baby is a genius!!
In the past two days, she has learned how to clap her hands together with excitement and she has also learned her first sign: "more." While eating, we have introduced her to three signs: more, all done, and eat. 2 days ago, she surprised us and did the sign for "more"! Of course she was rewarded with clapping and phrases like "good girl" and "you're so smart"! Because she is! And of course, she got more food on her tray. The girl loves to eat.
Yesterday while we were outside, I was pulling the girls in their respective sleds and Annie had a big smile on her face and was clapping her hands together. She was loving it!
We have major cabin fever at this house and I ended up pulling the girls all the way to the park. We trudged through over 3 feet of snow just to enjoy 5 minutes on the swing (the only one that wasn't buried).
In the past two days, she has learned how to clap her hands together with excitement and she has also learned her first sign: "more." While eating, we have introduced her to three signs: more, all done, and eat. 2 days ago, she surprised us and did the sign for "more"! Of course she was rewarded with clapping and phrases like "good girl" and "you're so smart"! Because she is! And of course, she got more food on her tray. The girl loves to eat.Yesterday while we were outside, I was pulling the girls in their respective sleds and Annie had a big smile on her face and was clapping her hands together. She was loving it!
We have major cabin fever at this house and I ended up pulling the girls all the way to the park. We trudged through over 3 feet of snow just to enjoy 5 minutes on the swing (the only one that wasn't buried).
Thursday, January 20, 2011
SAHM
SAHM: Stay-at-home-Mom
Not only is that a cool acronym, it is also my current job description.
Being a SAHM, or really just being a mom regardless of where you spend your 9-5, is tough. Some days I just want 10 minutes to myself. To have some peace and quiet, to clear my head, get some perspective.
Being a SAHM means that I change (and wash) every stinky diaper.
I have to deal with every screaming toddler tantrum.
I get 3 people dressed and ready for every day.
Before going anywhere, I have to pack a bag that consists of a diaper, wipes, ointment, a change of undies and pants for my 3 year old just in case of a potty accident, a snack for each child (or sometimes a "picnic" lunch), toys and books for the baby (especially if we're going to Chloe's art class), my wallet and anything else we might need.
To actually walk out the door, I have to put on 3 coats, 2 hats, 6 mittens, 6 shoes and grab two blankies.
I prepare and clean up the mess from 3 (or 4) meals, three times a day. My kitchen is cleaned at least once a day but it doesn't stay clean for very long.
I read every nap time and bed time story which equals at least 8 books a day, usually more.
I coordinate every outing. From a trip to the Y, an art class, or a playdate, every trip is carefully planned to accommodate feeding and sleeping schedules.
Being a SAHM means that I don't miss a moment. And I get to document and photograph every milestone. From first smile, first tooth, first step, first word, I get to be there for all of it.
I get to feed and clothe my kids because God has provided us with the means to purchase food to create healthy meals and to buy clothing to accommodate the four seasons of weather.
I get to give my children different learning experiences every day. We go to storytime at the library, play with friends, go to play areas to run and explore.
It also means that I get to raise my children in the way I think is best. My form of loving discipline and correction may not work for everyone but it works for me and my children.
So my house is not the cleanest on the block and I may be a bit frazzled some days but I wouldn't trade being a SAHM for anything in the world.
Not only is that a cool acronym, it is also my current job description.
Being a SAHM, or really just being a mom regardless of where you spend your 9-5, is tough. Some days I just want 10 minutes to myself. To have some peace and quiet, to clear my head, get some perspective.
Being a SAHM means that I change (and wash) every stinky diaper.
I have to deal with every screaming toddler tantrum.
I get 3 people dressed and ready for every day.
Before going anywhere, I have to pack a bag that consists of a diaper, wipes, ointment, a change of undies and pants for my 3 year old just in case of a potty accident, a snack for each child (or sometimes a "picnic" lunch), toys and books for the baby (especially if we're going to Chloe's art class), my wallet and anything else we might need.
To actually walk out the door, I have to put on 3 coats, 2 hats, 6 mittens, 6 shoes and grab two blankies.
I prepare and clean up the mess from 3 (or 4) meals, three times a day. My kitchen is cleaned at least once a day but it doesn't stay clean for very long.
I read every nap time and bed time story which equals at least 8 books a day, usually more.
I coordinate every outing. From a trip to the Y, an art class, or a playdate, every trip is carefully planned to accommodate feeding and sleeping schedules.
Being a SAHM means that I don't miss a moment. And I get to document and photograph every milestone. From first smile, first tooth, first step, first word, I get to be there for all of it.
I get to feed and clothe my kids because God has provided us with the means to purchase food to create healthy meals and to buy clothing to accommodate the four seasons of weather.
I get to give my children different learning experiences every day. We go to storytime at the library, play with friends, go to play areas to run and explore.
It also means that I get to raise my children in the way I think is best. My form of loving discipline and correction may not work for everyone but it works for me and my children.
So my house is not the cleanest on the block and I may be a bit frazzled some days but I wouldn't trade being a SAHM for anything in the world.
Friday, January 14, 2011
8 months!
Being a baby is full of newness. Everyday there is something new to explore, chew on, observe or interact with. This past month is no exception.
Annie is so close to being a full-on mobile little girl. She can scoot around and she gets to everything she wants, but she's not doing the real crawling yet.
So my dear Annie, this month you got to go on your first airplane ride all the way to England! And you rode on the tube, saw Big Ben, and rode on the train several times. You surprised us and did an exceptional job with minimal crying/fussing. This is definitely your preferred method of traveling as Mommy and Daddy can hold you while we're in motion. Here's a picture of us on the train on our way from London to Boston.
You also got to meet your great grandparents and needless to say, they were smitten! Great Nana called you "a bonnie little girl." I think that's a good thing.
Growing up requires eating real food. Well, Little Miss Independent demands to eat real, finger food. So, puffs, cheerios soaked in (mama's) milk, bit of avacado, carrot, peas (in mass numbers), pear, blueberries (in the mesh feeder), and cheese have been your diet lately. And you wouldn't have it any other way. You're also learning to drink from a bottle and a sippy cup! This skill has taken lots and lots of practice, but I think you finally got it! Now you can receive mommy's milk through various sources. This is so exciting for mama because now I can run errands and leave you with Daddy for a couple of hours and not have to worry about you starving!
You've also mastered waving (and loved waving at your grandparents while we were in England) and you also said your first word: hi. We were looking out the window and you started waving and said, "Hi!" It was such a proud moment. Smarty pants. Here's a photo of you waving.
And you also got to go on your first sled ride. You're still unsure about being outside and sometimes have this look of toleration on your face but you had fun being pulled up and down the driveway in the sled.
A Follow-Up to Sleepless
A follow-up to our "No-Cry Sleep Solution":
Here's what I've implemented to help Annie sleep better at night:
Jan. 11
Naps: 9:45 - 10:30; 1-2; 6-6:40
Asleep for the night 8:15pm
12:20am - cried. Nursed for 10 minutes then back to sleep.
3:45am - cried. Nursed for less than 10 minutes then back to sleep.
7am - awake for the day!
SUCCESS! Best night in a very, very long time!!!!!
Jan. 12
Naps: 10-10:45; 1:30 - 2:15
Asleep for the night 7:15pm
11pm - cried. Nursed for 20 minutes then back to sleep.
3am - cried. Nursed. Both sides. Had a difficult time settling back to sleep. Awake until 4:15am.
7am - awake for the day.
This seems to be the new pattern; being awake for 1-2 hours in the middle of the night. I'm not sure if it's because she's overtired and not settling to sleep well or if I'm putting her to bed too early. I follow her lead and put her down when she's tired. Hmmm... we still have a ways to go but as you can see, we're getting there!
Here's what I've implemented to help Annie sleep better at night:
- I've given her a Lovey - there is nothing cuter than seeing Annie all cuddled up with this little bear head attached to a small, soft blankey. She has a blanket that she really likes but this little bear lovey is something she can hold on to and suck on. We snuggle with the lovey when she nurses and she loves to hold on tight to it when she goes to sleep.
- To help her disassociate nursing with sleeping, Pantley suggests that the baby learn to fall asleep with more than one method. So I nurse her until she's very sleepy and then I rock or bounce her until she's almost asleep. Then I put her in her crib with the hopes that she can do the rest herself. Sometimes this works. Sometimes it doesn't. If she starts crying, I try to pat her butt (she's a tummy sleeper) and put my hand on her. If she gets upset, then I pick her up and keep swaying and patting until she gets sleepy. Then put her down. And repeat until she goes to sleep in her crib. Yes, this gets tiring if it takes five times.
- We have a very solid night time routine that I follow every night. Same order of events. Same books (well, the last two are the same. Sometimes she joins Chloe for storytime before heading to her room for the night). And I try to put her to bed around the same time every night too.
Jan. 11
Naps: 9:45 - 10:30; 1-2; 6-6:40
Asleep for the night 8:15pm
12:20am - cried. Nursed for 10 minutes then back to sleep.
3:45am - cried. Nursed for less than 10 minutes then back to sleep.
7am - awake for the day!
SUCCESS! Best night in a very, very long time!!!!!
Jan. 12
Naps: 10-10:45; 1:30 - 2:15
Asleep for the night 7:15pm
11pm - cried. Nursed for 20 minutes then back to sleep.
3am - cried. Nursed. Both sides. Had a difficult time settling back to sleep. Awake until 4:15am.
7am - awake for the day.
This seems to be the new pattern; being awake for 1-2 hours in the middle of the night. I'm not sure if it's because she's overtired and not settling to sleep well or if I'm putting her to bed too early. I follow her lead and put her down when she's tired. Hmmm... we still have a ways to go but as you can see, we're getting there!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A Few of My Favorite Things
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes....
Silver white winters (that will eventually melt into spring...)
I simply remember my favorite things...
And then I don't feel so bad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
